The Wobbly Stool of Conflict
From: The Joy of Conflict Resolution
$1.50
Conflict is like a three-legged stool, encompassing the problem, the process, and the emotions. When you encounter resistance, refrain from the urge to push harder against the problem itself. Instead, take a moment to step back and check each of the three legs of conflict. Start by taking the emotional temperature — your own and the other person’s. Then assess whether each of you feels heard and respected in the conversation. Once you’ve stabilized those legs, then apply your efforts to the problem itself.
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Contributors
Gary Harper
Gary Harper is a consultant, writer, and trainer who specializes in management training and business communications. Through his unique blend of experience as a personal injury lawyer, general manager, insurance regulator and retail store owner, he learned the value of clear, effective communication.In 1991 he completed the Conflict Resolution Certificate Program offered by the Justice Institution and the Commercial Mediation program through the Vancouver Centre for Commercial Disputes. He designed and conducted a variety of workshops on communication skills and conflict resolution for managers, shop stewards, municipal employees, adjusters, and bylaw enforcement officers, among others. He has trained for the Justice Institute of B. C., I.C.B.C., the Workers’ Compensation Board, B. C. Transit, Revenue Canada, and the University of British Columbia and its Women's Resource Centre. His interest in the archetypal characters of the “drama triangle” of conflict lead him to develop a course entitled “Once Upon a Conflict”. He uses the concept to illustrate how we can move beyond confrontation towards collaboration. He is known for his high-energy and humour and for the ability to foster a positive, supportive learning environment. He believes people learn best when they are actively engaged and having fun. He can be contacted at .
