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Float Like a Butterfly, Drink Mint Tea

How I Beat the Shit Out of All My Addictions

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As an alcoholic, drug-addicted comedian with tendencies to over-indulge and under-achieve since he was a teenager, Alex Wood was on track for to achieve his greatest goals: to die young and drunk. At the age of twenty-eight, feeling desperate in the face of addiction and associated health problems (ulcers, pancreatitis) – which were compounded by the deaths of loved ones and even worse undiagnosed issues – he decided to do something he’d actually been doing all his life: fight.

Alex concocted a plan to quit not only alcohol and drugs, but everything else that he felt was holding him back: cigarettes, caffeine, red meat, dairy, sugar, social media, smartphones, porn, credit cards, nail-biting, social media, and gossip. His biggest weapons? A pair of boxing gloves and plenty of peppermint tea. But as Alex soon learned, people don’t change overnight, and sobriety isn’t a linear journey; there’s heartbreak, relapses, and abuse along the way, but there’s also love, support, and lots of laughter. In this memoir, Alex wants to prove that people really can change, or go on a withdrawal-inspired murder spree, whichever comes first.

With plenty of self-effacing wit and grace, Float like a Butterfly, Drink Mint Tea tears down the walls of shame surrounding addiction, providing an honest and open portrait of the stakes involved when one is willing to quit everything in order to survive.

Float like a Butterfly, Drink Mint Tea is the latest title to be published under the Robin’s Egg Books imprint. Robin’s Egg Books features some of the freshest, smartest, and above all, funniest writing on a variety of culturally relevant subjects. Titles in the imprint are curated and edited by comedian, playwright and author Charles Demers.

Contributors

Alex Wood

Alex Wood is a comedian, writer, and podcaster who has been featured on NBC's Today Show, Kevin Hart's LOL, Vice, and Sirius XM Radio. His podcast How Alex Wood Quit Everything takes listeners on a journey through his addiction and subsequent recovery. Float like a Butterfly, Drink Mint Tea is his first book. He lives in Toronto.
Chapter Title Contents Contributors Pages Year Price

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Alex Wood introduces readers to his journey, his family, and notes that he’s been battling addiction since childhood. In three years, he quit 14 different addictions, each covered … 8 $0.80

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In the first chapter of the Cocaine segment of the memoir, Wood talks about his experience relapsing onto cocaine at a Montreal strip club. Wood talks about his past dreams, his first gig at Yuk … 15 $1.50

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After feeling like a "grown up" after the Just for Laughs gig, Wood describes how he was "a boy again within weeks." Addiction and debt begins to interfere with his gigs and … 19 $1.90

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Beginning the Alcohol segment in the throes of withdrawal, Wood takes readers through his transition to heavy drinking and the health issues he’s been encountering. He describes his … 20 $2.00

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After losing his wallet during a trip, Wood almost falls back into the alcohol spiral. "A test of resolve." However, following an endoscopy, Wood learns he can add stomach ulcers to a … 13 $1.30

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Wood begins the chapter discussing his friendship with Moaiad, a past roommate. His mother suggests tea when Wood is told the quit coffee, beginning his connection with peppermint tea. Wood … 13 $1.30

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Wood’s career trajectory begins to take stronger shape. However, two weeks after a farewell bash thrown in Uncle Noel’s honour, Wood relapses. Though staying strong for his family … 5 $0.50

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Starting the segment "Alex Wood Quits Everything," Wood explains how he prepared for his podcast where he would quit the rest of his vices in one year. He describes his struggle through … 4 $0.40

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Wood discusses his journey with weed, and the dangerous situations he got into to acquire it. He talks about his interview with his recovery friend Marito. "The mental hold of weed" … 9 $0.90

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Next is Wood’s journey with coffee, or more importantly, caffeine. Being "coffee-sick" was an ongoing cycle, and with news of his ulcers, Wood tries to sever ties with caffeine. … 27 $2.70

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Though not as dangerous as other addictions, Wood notes that nail biting was his longest-standing vice. An impulse to hurt himself came with it. Being in the hospital to support Nora during … 8 $0.80

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Wood notes that some of his "lowest moments of addiction" were related to cigarettes, certain he wouldn’t be able to escape them. He describes the withdrawal as more constant than … 17 $1.70

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Eating red meat wasn’t out of his control. However, Wood didn’t want to be a part of the climate problems connected to red meat. Nora is the next guest on his podcast. She remarks … 4 $0.40

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Wood cleverly begins the chapter by using an "unhealthy alcohol use" questionnaire and makes dairy the subject instead. The results are telling. Wood notes that overeating was similar … 10 $1.00

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Wood describes his inroduction to porn and his strange relationship with it. Quitting porn wasn’t the biggest struggle of the month, however. Wood’s health was still suffering, and … 9 $0.90

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Wood explains how credit cards were more a vessel to acquiring other vices than being a vice. Setting boundaries on how credit cards would be used was the fight at hand. 4 $0.40

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Communcation and sharing stories is natural for humans, Wood notes, before explaining how gossip can have similarities to the highs and lows of other addictions. Though tempted early on, Wood … 8 $0.80

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Wood notes how difficult it is to quit sugar, especially with its ubiquity in everyday life and the general lack of support when accomplishing one’s goal. Changing one’s habits was … 6 $0.60

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Wood compares two equations: the number of hours on the Apollo mission over eleven years and the number of combined hours humanity spent on social media in 2019. Quitting social media isn’t … 14 $1.40

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Wood details many of the problems linked to cellphones, though specifically smartphones. Health afflictions, mental health, relationships, car crashes, as well as other unsettling statisitics. As … 16 $1.60

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The book wraps up with Wood discussing boxing and how a fighter just needs to keep getting up. One loss doesn’t mean everything is over. After a big relapse, Wood is diagnosed with … 11 $1.10