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ISBN: 9780864924872

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The M Word

Conversations about Motherhood

A Dropped Threads-style anthology, assembling original and inspiring works by some of Canada’s best younger female writers — such as Heather Birrell, Saleema Nawaz, Susan Olding, Diana Fitzgerald Bryden, Carrie Snyder, and Alison Pick — The M Word asks everyday women and writers, some of whom are on the unconventional side of motherhood, to share their emotions and tales of maternity.

Whether they are stepmothers or mothers who have experienced abortion, infertility, adoption, or struggles with having more or less children, all these writers are women who have faced down motherhood on the other side of the white picket fence. It is time that motherhood opened its gates to include everyone, not just the picture postcard stories.

The M Word is a fabulous collection by a talented author and blogger, which is bound to attract readers from all walks of motherhood. The anthology that presents women’s lives as they are really lived, probing the intractable connections between motherhood and womanhood with all necessary complexity and contradiction laid out in a glorious tangle.

It is a book whose contents themselves are in disagreement, essays rubbing up against one another in uncomfortable ways. There is no synthesis — is motherhood an expansive enterprise, or is motherhood a trap? — except perhaps a general sense that being a mother and not being a mother are each as terrible and wonderful as being alive is. What these essays do show, however, is that in this age of supposed reproductive choice, so many women still don’t have the luxury of choosing their mothering story or how it will play out. And those who do exercise choice often still end up contending with judgement or backlash.

The essays also make clear that women are not as divided between the mothers and the childless as we might be led to believe. Women’s lives are so much more complicated than that. There is mutual ground between the woman who decided to have no more children and the woman who decided to have none at all. A woman with no children also endures a similar kind of scrutiny as the woman who’s had many, both of them operating outside of societal norms. A woman who has miscarried longs to be acknowledged for her own beyond-visible mothering experiences, for the baby she held inside her. And while infertility is its own kind of journey, that journey is also just one of so many whose origins lie with the desire for a child.

Contributors

Kerry Clare

Kerry Clare's essays have appeared in a number of Canadian magazines and newspapers, including Reader’s Digest, Today’s Parent, and The Globe and Mail. Her essay “Love is a Let-Down” was shortlisted for a National Magazine Award and appeared in Best Canadian Essays 2011. She is editor of the Canadian books website 49thShelf and writes about books on her blog, Pickle Me This. She lives in Toronto.
Chapter Title Contents Contributors Pages Year Price

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Forward from editor Kerry Clare. 5 $0.50

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Heather Birrell reflects on motherhood as a writer, the fears of new mothers, selfishness, unexpected pregnancy, abortion, and more. 10 $1.00

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Julie Booker reflects on her life and journey to motherhood. Topics discussed include career, marriage, childlessness, grief, multiples, and motherhood after forty. 9 $0.90

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Diana Fitzgerald Bryden reflects on the inability to conceive, childcare, family, pets, the role of an aunt, sibling relationships, and more. 10 $1.00

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Kerry Clare reflects on reflects on her second pregnancy, abortion, miscarriage, unwanted pregnancy, and more. 9 $0.90

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Myrl Coulter reflects on her youth in 1967 Winnipeg, teen pregnancy, unmarried mothers, adoption, boarding homes for unwed mothers, music, the Canadian Criminal Code, and more. 17 $1.70

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Christa Couture reflects on proof of motherhood, the loss of a child, mourning, bereavement, guilt, and a message for her ‘little ones.’ 11 $1.10

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Nancy Jo Cullen reflects on life as a single parent, doing the ‘right’ thing, teaching your children, how your children see you, adolescence, and more. 9 $0.90

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Marita Dachsel reflects on moving, death, SIDS, superstition, names, nostalgia, child safety and freedom. 9 $0.90

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Nicole Dixon reflects being child-free, women’s rights, and the choices in a woman’s life. 9 $0.90

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Ariel Gordon reflects on her parenting, writing, only children, big families, and her poem Primipara. 9 $0.90

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Amy Lavender Harris reflects on her experiences with pregnancy, PCOS, infertility, ‘natural’ mothering, and her daughter. 9 $0.90

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Fiona Tinwei Lam reflects on her life as a single mother in their thirties, the struggles of unwed and young mothers, single motherhood, and more. 14 $1.40

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Deanna McFadden reflects on thinking about her life as a mother both before and after, transit, commuting, driving, her pregnancy, patience, and more. 11 $1.10

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Maria Meindl reflects on her relationship with her sister and her mother, her mother’s illness, memories of the past, her own experiences with illness, and Junior. 15 $1.50

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Saleema Nawaz reflects on her stepdaughter, their relationship, the experience of knowing each other, and mothering. 13 $1.30

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Susuan Olding reflects on meeting her stepdaughter, the experiences of stepmothers, and the relationship between the two of them. Includes elements of fairytales interspersed throughout. 14 $1.40

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Alison Pick reflects on her pregnancy and miscarriage of her daughter, Robin. 15 $1.50

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Heidi Reimer reflects on her daughters– one biological and the other adopted from her brother– motherhood, mothering, and more. 13 $1.30

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Kerry Ryan reflects on instincts, her own biological clock, mothering, motherhood, courage, and more. 11 $1.10

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Carrie Snyder reflects on her four children, her path to motherhood, her children and more. 10 $1.00

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Patricia Storms provides an illustrated comic on how she relates to motherhood. 2 $0.20

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Sarah Yi-Mei Tsiang reflects on Rapunzel’s mother, identity as a mother, motherhood as a study of conflicts, the witch in Rapunzel, and her own feelings on writing about her daughter. 8 $0.80

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Priscila Uppal reflects on growing older, changing relationships, motherhood, and more through poetry. 13 $1.30

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Julia Zarankin reflects on infertility, motherhood, expectations, imagined children, trying, IVF, and more. 11 $1.10

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An Afterword from Michele Landsberg on becoming a grandmother. 8 $0.80